Today is my birthday... My last birthday before I turn the big 30. I can say that I have had my ups and downs and life has been cruel to me sometimes, but it has made me the person I am.
29 years ago my Mom gave birth to her only child. Dad wanted a boy but was happy with what he got. Everyone thinks since I was an only child I was spoiled but my parents worked hard for what little money they got and my life long hobby was started with ponies. My Mom begged and borrowed and I always had a free lease pony to ride. I showed and showed and got involved with USPC and moved thru the ranks. Dad was happy that his young girl worked hard and was more of a tom boy because she wasn't afraid to get dirty.
My Dad and uncle had a pulling tractor and I was always at the pulls with them. I did the horses with my Mother and the Pulls with my Father. I wish I knew then what I know now, that those late nights in the shop and at the pulls would be some of the best memories with my Dad.
I was a pretty good kid, didn't get in trouble, always had a job and worked hard. I didn't play sports in school because I had the horses at home. Most kids would be out late on Friday nights, I was home getting the horses bathed and ready for a show or rally the next day. My summer vacation was to USPC championships and my parents took their time off from work to take me there.
I had lost most of my grandparents when I was young so they didn't get to see all my accomplishments. Hell my only grandfather living didn't even come to my wedding.
At 19, I got married. Thought everything was great. Married for 3 years then he wanted a divorce. I left and went back home. I was bitter and angry. I survived and found out that I could still have fun, I was young.
At 21, my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer. He was such a strong man and I thought he would be there for me forever. I went with him to a lot of his appointments and chemo treatments. I was always very close with my Dad.
At 23, I lost my Dad. I don't think I have fully grieved for him yet. It's been 4.5 years since he has died. I had to be strong for my Mom. I made all his arrangements and took care of everything. My boyfriend at the time and I moved in to stay with my Mom. I changed rolls from being the daughter and became the Mother. Eventually things did not work out between all three of us and we all went our seperate ways.
At 26, I met one of the greatest guys I know. We started dating and everything just clicked. There is no fighting, getting mad, storming off. We have a great relationship and he supports me in everything I want to do. I love this boy with all of my heart. We are still searching for a place to buy but hopefully soon we will find something.
Now if only my body will keep up. I have had some weird shit happen to me over the years. I have learned how to deal with everything and keep going.
List of things I have had or have:
Bells Palsy
Hidradenitis Suppurativa
Pseudotumor Cerebri
Latest things to add: two bulging discs in my lower back and my neck has two reverse curvatures that we are treating with traction. Had not been a good two weeks for my spine.
Most days I feel old but I try to make the best of them. I don't know what this next year will bring but I hope it treats me well and I make the most of it. So tonight I am celebrating my last birthday ever (lol) with good food and great friends and the love of my life.
