Wednesday, September 21, 2011

29 years in review

Today is my birthday...  My last birthday before I turn the big 30.  I can say that I have had my ups and downs and life has been cruel to me sometimes, but it has made me the person I am.

29 years ago my Mom gave birth to her only child.  Dad wanted a boy but was happy with what he got.  Everyone thinks since I was an only child I was spoiled but my parents worked hard for what little money they got and my life long hobby was started with ponies.  My Mom begged and borrowed and I always had a free lease pony to ride.  I showed and showed and got involved with USPC and moved thru the ranks.  Dad was happy that his young girl worked hard and was more of a tom boy because she wasn't afraid to get dirty. 

My Dad and uncle had a pulling tractor and I was always at the pulls with them.  I did the horses with my Mother and the Pulls with my Father.  I wish I knew then what I know now, that those late nights in the shop and at the pulls would be some of the best memories with my Dad.

I was a pretty good kid, didn't get in trouble, always had a job and worked hard.  I didn't play sports in school because I had the horses at home.  Most kids would be out late on Friday nights, I was home getting the horses bathed and ready for a show or rally the next day.  My summer vacation was to USPC championships and my parents took their time off from work to take me there. 

I had lost most of my grandparents when I was young so they didn't get to see all my accomplishments.  Hell my only grandfather living didn't even come to my wedding. 

At 19, I got married.  Thought everything was great. Married for 3 years then he wanted a divorce.  I left and went back home.  I was bitter and angry.  I survived and found out that I could still have fun, I was young.

At 21, my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer.  He was such a strong man and I thought he would be there for me forever.  I went with him to a lot of his appointments and chemo treatments.  I was always very close with my Dad. 

At 23, I lost my Dad.  I don't think I have fully grieved for him yet.  It's been 4.5 years since he has died.  I had to be strong for my Mom.  I made all his arrangements and took care of everything.  My boyfriend at the time and I moved in to stay with my Mom.  I changed rolls from being the daughter and became the Mother.  Eventually things did not work out between all three of us and we all went our seperate ways.

At 26, I met one of the greatest guys I know.  We started dating and everything just clicked.  There is no fighting, getting mad, storming off.  We have a great relationship and he supports me in everything I want to do.  I love this boy with all of my heart.  We are still searching for a place to buy but hopefully soon we will find something.

Now if only my body will keep up.  I have had some weird shit happen to me over the years.  I have learned how to deal with everything and keep going. 

List of things I have had or have: 
Bells Palsy
Hidradenitis Suppurativa
Pseudotumor Cerebri
Latest things to add:  two bulging discs in my lower back and my neck has two reverse curvatures that we are treating with traction.  Had not been a good two weeks for my spine.

Most days I feel old but I try to make the best of them.  I don't know what this next year will bring but I hope it treats me well and I make the most of it.  So tonight I am celebrating my last birthday ever (lol) with good food and great friends and the love of my life.